“If mom is the gateway to life, dad is the portal to the world.” – Marina Toledo

FATHERS AND THEIR ROLE

Just think about it for a moment, who is the person that is the most excluded in families?

Can you guess?

I hear you. and yes that is mostly the father?

Let's look closer into the family systems....

Mothers have a tendency [mostly unconscious], to pull their children in towards them, distancing them from their father, which also distances them from the world and therefore from life.

In many cultures the Sun represents the Father which is the Masculine energy is the light, the purpose the structure, creating the tangible.

In order to become independent from the symbiotic bond with our mother, we need the balance and the energy of our father.

It's likely not news to you: Each of us – yes, that includes you and me – is a dynamic blend of masculine and feminine energies, - and as human beings on this beautiful Earth plane also the blend of our father and mother and their ancestral lineage.

Unfortunately or maybe as a divine plan , this delicate balance often gets out of balance due to different factors: societal conditioning, the burdens of ancestral pain, and a suite of unhealthy coping habits. From the instance of gestation, our "bio-computer" begins to program and internalize these complexities, crafting a unique, but sometimes discordant, energetic symphony within us.

Why should we embrace our Dad even when this seems impossible?

Yes, i hear you, and you are right, no father should hurt his child, they supposed to love and protect them. And i am so sorry if you went through unbearable pain caused by the presence or the absence of your father.

Yet it's precisely when the pain and resistance is the biggest, choosing is the act of healing and forgiving will liberate you from a lifetime of agony.

The reason i write this is, because our first contact with the masculine energy outside of us, and as sons or daughters, we thank our life for him and the ones who came before.

So when we are able to give ourself the gift of love, and accept our father with all his whimsies especially the most painful ones, than we accept our own masculine energy fully.

A fresh new chapter with the legacy of our own patriarchal line opens up for us, - this time with the gifts and talents as wings to fly free in the tangible realm. These super powers are the real deal, ushering us to step into and claim our place in the world in a mature and balanced way. 

Taking our father into our heart, embracing him exactly as he is and healing the wounds that prevented us from doing so is a deep inner process that each of us should go through. It is a different challenge for every person, a different wound, and each process is unique.

 How to Heal Father Wounds?

The first step is getting aware of our inner image and the void that is there pushing us to work harder, do more, feeling of inadequacy of not being good enough.

When we embark on the inner movement towards our father, we open the door to the masculine energy that comes from our family system in its purest form. The integration of those great qualities within us will be significantly improve and positively change how we show up in the world. Interestingly, when we are able to accept our father as he is, the traits that made us reject him are filtered out.

For some people, their father’s role was to bring them into life and then to leave and in these cases, the mother’s inner attitude and the way she relates to him are going to greatly affect the child and his or her perception of their father and the masculine energy. For example, if a mother rejects her child’s father, a boy may subconsciously not want to grow up and become a man for fear that she may reject him too.

Children are very sensitive to what the mother feels inside, so even if she does not speak negatively of the child’s father, if she holds resentment towards him, the child will pick up on that emotion and side with the mother.

We tend to see our father through our mother’s eyes and are loyal to her opinion about our father.

When we reject our father (complain, reproach him, blame him, etc.) it is felt as if we are rejecting part of ourselves, as if half of us is not worthy (of love, success, fulfillment in life, etc.) and we feel an inner void.

However, the child is also loyal to the father and when the mother rejects the father, he will tend to take on the traits that she disliked most about him to be loyal to him as well, unconsciously.

There we will feel this inner void, creating addictions (alcohol, gambling, drugs, etc.).. It is as if the addict is attempting to fill the void from his father through the addiction.

CONCLUSION

When we start focusing on healing the bond with our father and our male lineage we will receive the clarity and creative strength of the Masculine that comes through the men in our clan.

Healing the wounds that we had as children and integrating him is a deep inner process that each of should gift ourselves if we want to succeed with ease and natural flow in life.

And I know from my own experience, that this can be challenging for the human in us, but when guided by spirit the challenge will decrease and a natural ease, safety and trust will increase in our nervous system in a new way, and that is priceless.

So if you decide to take your first step to self fulfillment, you can start slowly with this Healing the father wound workbook if you like, or contact me if you would like more personalized healing.

XO Erika Gabriella